Chosen war and redeemed hope

i choose a bold suffer as a warrior for my redemption and not comfort in being a desiring slave to greed’s oppression

much as it appears to be my choice, it is one forced on me by the laws and the fears of men who could not hold back their judgement but lamented when excellence drew close or when failure took a stroll and my feet and face met on the ground overwhelmed



in the day or night i grasp towards light even in the grayest of skies

when i see none i do not hurt because then i know there is one shining through me

from a place i have stored up all the light that i ever caught

there is no life in looking into darkness but surely there is light to display the path and lead  me and that is where my heart goes


on my wall i see memories of the future

on the floor i feel scars from the blows printed deep

but with my head held high and my shoulders covered with budges of experience i choose to look at the wall and not the floor till a next door opens

there is not much joy in looking down on my yesterday me when my tomorrows me will have been amazing


i might as less as other not understand what i say now

but when i have lived long enough and my tears are run dry

my smile is multiplied in wrinkles

the light that can not be overseen will shine through me




and the greed or fear will pass me by at a distance

and my future will long be a past at my final destination

i will wake up at the feet of Jesus covered in the Glory of God




Cold old love


the most beautiful  face i always knew

now a cloud that rolls in the night

the funny laughter

now a wolf’s howl against his own pack

the warm tight hugs we once enjoyed,

a faceless wind that now pushes me away

what happened to that young fresh love my dearest of now enemies

the sweet songs we sung as the sunset,

replaced with replayed provocations

the bread we always happily made together

now, you want all for yourself

the one we had become

now only a silhouette of thousands of our facets

were does your celestial love linger

those that once adored us now mock us

but that i will not blame on you

this heartless silence you are sealing me in

drives me in a trance of my darkest blues

and here comes clueless me with my skinny mind

telling the stories of our personal globe

hoping that what once was will come back around

now dear love, i know we are old and gray

and that we have lost most of our mind to the gone days

but hey not more of this cold love no more

even when we do not know how to go about this so long

it is freezing my mind-time yet i hope it blossoms in its season

it is digging the best out of me in a time of no harvest

let us be friends again lovers again even maybe enemies that love each other

but let us make the best of our rest days before the soils yearn for our flesh


Lonesome Addiction

Please do not keep me waiting you know my impatience

and that the sun rises on me only in the night

i just  keep wondering why

When you put your arms around me

i feel i am burning from inside and leaving no ashes on either sides

the touch of your chest hair on my breast

feels like my heart is being crushed into an endless spear

the sound of your whisper close to my ear

is like the beat of a tropical song that is playing in my feet

the touch of your hands feels like a wind that undresses me in a desert

and when i see you i get swept off my feet like it were by a tree

Now i guess i feel free, but that; because the gain is cashed for me

this love makes me blue like day skies

but your laughter breaks the ground of my dark night heart

but love me at least this one last time like i have said every other last time

before i am left to the misery of my lonesome addiction

then we shall say farewell to my celestial love and a life of crime

then this will be our own time


PS: i ran into the song and i thought it perfectly fits to my ‘small complaint’ up there 😀